Big feelings

Abby had a tough afternoon and evening. Almost from the moment I brought her home from camp, she was melting down: screaming, crying, contradicting herself ("I want to/I don't want to"); even refusing to use the toilet, when she obviously needed to.

This behavior continued through dinner, upset Brian, and really wore on my nerves after a couple of hours. She hadn't had trouble like this in weeks.

I wondered what was causing the behavior, but was too stressed in the moment -- or rather, in the hours -- to patiently tease it out of her. Besides, I had two exceptionally needy boys who were chiming in with their own shouts and cries throughout the afternoon.

Sometimes the kids calm down in the shower. I hadn't even cleared the dishes from the table when I started herding them into the bathroom to try. Timmy got clean quickly; Brian had his usual fear-of-water-in-the-eyes issues but was mostly compliant, as well.

Then it was Abby's turn.

More wailing and moaning, screaming, baby talk, refusing to comply. Finally I just told her I wasn't going to talk with her until she used the bathroom and got ready for her shower.

Then, from the other side of the bathroom door: "Mommy! Mommy! Come here. Please! Mommy!" This was punctuated by sobs.

I went into the bathroom, as calmly as I could.

"I am sooooo sad about Grammy Ruth!" she wailed.

And just like that, my heart broke.