Today hasn't been a good day. It's 5:45 a.m.
I woke up just past midnight, heart racing, from a singularly horrifying dream. I was with two of my children in the World Trade Center. The plane hit. I started down the stairs, holding one child's hand, carrying the other. People were still working in the offices. Very few were evacuating. Didn't they know the tower was going to fall?
The child whose hand I was holding couldn't keep up. I let go of the hand and kept going.
I woke up just before the tower collapsed, and had to talk myself out of going upstairs and making sure all three children were snug in their beds. I knew it was just a dream, but had a hard time convincing my hammering heart.
Not as horrifying, but still a downer, was the discovery that I gained 1.5 pounds yesterday. In one day! I've been trying to stay positive, but as I looked at my weight chart, I realized I've been essentially holding steady for nearly 3 weeks. Up a little, down a little, but basically plateaued.
Then I saw a photo of myself from a neighborhood cookout yesterday. I'm always surprised to see just how fat I look in photos. I'm not sure why, as I've been quite overweight for a couple of years, now.
Mondays are hard enough without waking up and feeling like a double-whammy failure.
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3 comments:
well just for the record, i NEVER look at you or pics of you and think you look fat or overweight.
i hear you though, i had a kid running a ride @ seabreeze yesterday call me a fat cow :( (and then Keith got in his face and scared the crap out of him for saying it, so that part was mildly amusing) but I'd rather be called a b!tch than a fat cow :/ Depressing.
Sorry about the scary dreams, they are the worst. Some are so real!!
*hugs*
JEN
Julie, stop weighing yourself daily. It doesn't do anyone any good. Weigh yourself once a week. Period. The scale is making you nuts, and that's too bad, because you didn't gain 1.5 pounds yesterday. You just didn't!
I had bad dreams last night, too. Must be the Fall weather.
Hugs to you! I hope your day has improved!
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