Sunny Friday

We've reached Friday of the first week of our full fall family schedule. Despite a rough start on Monday, the week was a pretty good one.

I've written before that I swear by to-do lists, but I'm now completely addicted. Between the daily lists, email reminders (from myself and FlyLady), my teaching schedule, the kids' morning and evening routines, and their new reward chart, we had a very efficient week.

More on the reward chart: A few weeks ago, tired of constantly telling the kids what to do and when to do it in the morning and at bedtime, I borrowed my dear friend Kathleen's idea and created written routines for them.

Here is Brian's morning routine. Now, all three kids were all excited about their routines when I first created them, but the luster was wearing off last week, and I found myself having to remind them to get moving in the mornings, often with yelling. It's not a good way to start the day.

So I found a reward chart online, tweaked it to include rewards they really like (Abby and Timmy like movies or TV; Brian is motivated by cold, hard cash) and told them they would get a star for every day that they completed their morning routines without being reminded.

It worked like magic for a couple of days. All three kiddos were talking about their reward charts a lot, counting their star stickers and calculating how many days it would be until they'd reach the first reward level.

Then, Abby had a tough morning on Wednesday. She managed to complete her routine, but with no small amount of intervention (and, to be honest, frustration) from me.

Later that day, I realized I was sabotaging my own system. There was no need for me to intervene, and certainly no need for me to yell. If she completes her tasks, she will get a star. If she doesn't, she won't. Simple.

Thursday morning, she again seemed headed for a tough time. I pulled her aside, and calmly explained to her that she had her routine and she knew what she had to do. I told her that I wasn't going to yell, or even to remind her, but that if she gave me trouble with anything (such as brushing her hair or practicing her violin) I was simply going to walk away, and come back when she was calmer.

She still didn't seem to understand the impact this would have on her morning, so I connected the dots for her: if I was going to walk away and wait until she was calm to come back and help her, that would take more time. The more time each step on the routine took, the less likely it would be that she would complete her whole routine before we had to leave for school. And, of course, if she didn't complete the routine, she wouldn't be able to have a star for that day.

Then she saw the light. After trying to argue with me a little ("But I want you to yell!") and testing me with hair-brushing and practicing (from which I walked away, in both instances), she settled down, did the rest of her tasks, and was all smiles when she could pick a shiny star for her chart. And this morning, she moved through her routine with no problem.

I don't believe the reward chart will work forever, but it's been a very good and simple solution for us as our schedules have gotten busier this month. And, because we've been consistently practicing in the mornings, Abby has learned all of "Long, Long Ago" since Tuesday, and Brian has blown through two Twinkle variations (piano) since last weekend, plus the G major and D major scales. They're very proud of themselves, as they should be.

We're rushing less and doing more, and making music, too. It's a great way to start the day.