I never realized how relaxed I'd been on our little holiday vacation-at-home, until I wasn't relaxed any more. The shoulder and upper-back tension returned at approximately 3:20 p.m. today, as I was shepherding all three children between cars, over snowbanks and back to the van after picking Abby and Brian up from school.
It makes me sad, being back in the grind again. Not that I dislike being busy, but when busy spills over into stressed, it's not much fun.
I was actually very busy the rest of the day; starting work on a new story; taking care of child-care issues brought on by two upcoming trips to Children's Hospital this week; cramming my Target and BJ's run into this afternoon because the next two days are shot because of the appointments at Children's; and generally tidying up so I could teach in the house this week. That was all stuff that was no big deal. It was a lot to get done, but I got it done.
For some reason, however, taking Timmy to Abby and Brian's school to pick them up in the afternoon sends me right over the edge. Timmy doesn't exactly run off, but he doesn't stay as close to me as I'd like. Add to this the confusion of so many people picking up so many kids, and then add snow, slush, slow-moving kids because of winter outerwear, and traffic zooming down the supposedly closed street that runs next to the school, and it's enough to make me forget I was ever relaxed in my life. I actually sighed with relief when I closed the van door with the three of them inside, thankful that no one was hit by a car or lost.
Then, the usual chatter that inevitably turns into bickering; a bad yogurt experience for Brian, followed by a nosebleed; a violin lesson for Abby during which she focused for maybe 2 minutes out of 30; homework trauma; kids asking for seconds on dinner before I've even finished cooking it or had a chance to sit down to eat; Earl being at work later than he thought he'd be -- all of this just completely squashed what little inner peace I'd had in reserve from my time off.
I'd better take up meditation. Or drinking.
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4 comments:
Nodding in recognition. The first day back is hard. Both my guys were out of sorts today, despite having had good sleep last night. I chalk it up to their being slightly discombobulated about returning to the routine.
And yes, I did meditate this afternoon. It helps. :)
Hope tomorrow is smoother.
hope the routine gets going again and is less stressful <3
Life is kinda like a great big steam engine, I guess. Once you pull into the Holiday Station, the engine heaves a great sigh of relief, for making it through the Fall safe and sound, through the holiday madness, through the winter weather, through other bumps and bruises.
Getting started is tough, though. The engine heaves and sighs and grunts and groans as the steam flows back through it, trying to pump the life back into it, to keep moving down life's tracks...a couple of bangs, maybe the brakes whine, a loud whistle, and life yelling ALL ABOARD! The train lurches forward, some of us losing our footing or tumbling at the unexpected movement, but after a little time, the ride smoothes out.
Hang in there, dear one. No station stop is permanent, but one; life moves and takes us with it, whether we are ready or not. All we can do is grin and bear it, perhaps enjoying the other passengers and scenery along the way.
Sorry you had such a rough day. I have the same problem getting the little one to the bus stop on time on the afternoons she's home with me. She doesn't want to walk down the street to get big brother in the freezing cold any more than I do. I generally end up carrying her the whole way while she whines or cries. Oh so much fun! I hope tomorrow is much less stressful!
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