I'm typically in motion, either physically or, more often, mentally. I'm teaching, or writing, or mommying, or FLYing, or planning my next move for any of those things. I do take breaks, of course, but rare is the time when I just exist. I often feel guilty if I'm not being productive in one way or another.
But this week, I've hardly been moving at all. I have exercised, of course, and taught, and written, and mommied and even FLYed, a little. But I've also done a lot of just sitting around. I haven't even been making my famous to-do lists, and when I have, I have been ignoring most of the entries. The guilt is piling up, along with the tasks on the lists, and I don't seem to be able to make myself do anything.
Yes, I'm consumed with Abby's issues right now, between attending the AANE conference last week, and tomorrow's meeting with her therapist to discuss how we're going to talk with her about her Asperger's diagnosis. But it's not like I'm doing extensive research, or preparation, or anything particularly constructive about it.
I feel like I'm waiting, and I don't know what I'm waiting for.
About Me
- Julie
- I'm a writer, teacher, singer, mom and wife who tries to balance it all, with varying degrees of success on any given day. I've sung with opera companies, been on the communications staff for two health care organizations, and taught music at Catholic and public schools. Now I teach voice and Suzuki piano privately, cantor at local churches, and freelance for (mostly) local publications. And chase my three kids around.
3 comments:
It's OK to just WAIT. That's what ninjas do. You have to be ready. :-P
You have a lot on your plate, and I think there is nothing wrong with having a day to just rest-don't beat yourself up for it, you are so busy and emotionally so much going on...I don't know how you do it! <3
I think it's good to cultivate the ability to be still. If we're in constant motion, we can lose touch with the still, small voice within. Keep doing what you're doing, Julie. It's all good.
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