Sunday, August 2, 2009

Stretching

This weekend, I'm substituting for the music director at my church, playing the piano for all five masses. I wrote a bit about it last week.

It's been a really interesting experience. I've practiced this week, of course, and decided where I would be playing the music as written, and where I would be cheating/improvising/reading chord symbols. For the most part, it's worked pretty well. I've played four out of the five masses so far, and I'm (gasp!) not even practicing between now and the last one. I'm actually not that nervous any more.

Yesterday at 4:00 was a whole different story. Our other regular cantor has a cold, so she asked a woman from the choir, who covers for us, to fill in. I found out about this on my way to church.

Of course, that threw me into a tizzy -- as if I needed anything else to be nervous about. But Pat was a trouper, and completely unflappable, even when some particularly egregious wrong notes clunked out of the piano. I was grateful that she was so solid, but was also very relieved when I played the last chord of the final hymn.

This morning, more of the same: trembling hands and nervous mistakes at the 9:00 mass. But when the 10:30 came around, I had the summer pick-up choir up there with me, and thinking about them somehow allowed me to get out of my own way a little, and enjoy the experience more. I played better, too, and that confidence and calm carried over to the 12:00 mass.

The pastor's homily touched on gratitude this week, and I have been reflecting on what a gift it has been to prepare the music for the liturgy. It's been nervewracking at times, but stretching one's musical muscles can sometimes be that way. I'll happily return to the microphone next week, but I have enjoyed sitting behind the piano, in spite of my nervousness.

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