Friday, November 21, 2008

Breugger's introspection

Here I am, squinting at my screen because of the brightness, hoping no one notices that I haven't bought a thing yet, waiting for my friend, with whom I'm having coffee this morning.

I'm glad to have the time and the flexibility in my schedule to meet friends like this once in a while. After several years of all-mommy, all-the-time, it's really a gift to have a couple of child-free hours every morning while the boys are in preschool.

That extra time and breathing room is wonderful, but it's led to a crisis of sorts. I blogged about it a couple of weeks ago, too. I'm feeling much better now than I did then, and some interesting things have started to happen:
  • I've started listening to music I like again. Not the kids' CDs; not Earl's incessant country; not music that's "good" for me or that which I "should" be listening to. Just stuff I like.
  • I think -- and it may be premature to write this -- that I may be finally settling into a reasonable, realistic way of dealing with weight and body-image issues. I'm not perfect, but I may be getting comfortable, and that is progress.
  • I'm taking the long view a bit more. Yes, I want things to happen, professionally and personally, but they don't all have to happen right now. Just moving in the right direction is enough, most of the time.

I feel like I'm recovering some of myself that has somehow gotten lost in the last 20-odd years of living. It's a good feeling to re-make my own acquaintance.

Don't say mid-life crisis, please. As my mother says, it's just a mid-life episode.

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