Thursday, September 11, 2008

Time Warp

For a long time, I've been looking forward to the day when all three children would be in school. My head swam with delirious visions of all I could accomplish without any little ones underfoot. I'd be so prolific. I'd resurrect my passion for cooking; my house would never be so tidy and clean. I'd be a regular at the gym again. Maybe I'd even get to go out for coffee or some solo shopping once in a while.

I'm happy to say that all of that is happening, but not all at the same time. The writing is coming along; I've done some cooking, the house is in order. I've zipped into Kohl's by myself, and yesterday I met someone for an article interview over coffee (two birds with one stone.) And yet, I've felt disappointed; paralyzed, almost. I've got the most freedom I've had since before Abby was born, but when Earl asked me this morning what I was going to do today, I had a hard time figuring it out.

The simple fact is that two hours (more or less) by myself is not enough time to do all of that. So I can either wish for the time when they're all in school all day, or lower my expectations.

Live in the present; lower your expectations. Same old recipe for contentment.

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